A Little Girl’s Doll..

IMG_9312

She used to have a doll; her name was  “Yellowbell.” 

 Growing up in an orphanage with no father, no mother, no brother, no sister. She belonged to no one and no one belonged to her,              except her yellow doll. 

 Her doll witnessed all her tears and loneliness, loss and sorrows. Yellowbell heard of her desires to feel belonging and to be a part of a family where love and acceptance are free.

 Her hopes were dashed, time and again. Once she even went home with a family but the father was brutally murdered in front of her.  

Even her only companion, Yellowbell, was taken away from her.

 Because of the constant abuse and deprivation this little girl suffered she wished to stop being a little girl and to become a full grown adult quickly where she could gain control and power over pain and hurt.

Some fragment of her mind decided to start thinking like an adult, to speak like an adult, to act like an adult.

She feels protected from people when she pretends.

She denies any raw feelings to cover up her vulnerability She puts on a happy face all the time but it’s not real, it keeps failing her.

 She still is a little child after all.

Scared. Confused. Questioning. Little child.

Deprived but wanted to be understood.

Abandoned still she wanted to be loved.

Robbed of her childhood but wanting to be a child.

A broken little girl.

 Her part of journey to healing at Safe Refuge is through                      play therapy.

She loves playing with her teddy bear she calls “Pinkbell”. 

She protects her like a mother would, feeds her as a sister would and talks to her like a friend would. She gives her baths and puts her to sleep. She reads her stories and prays with her. She makes sure that her Pinkbell will not starve and won’t feel alone and will be safe in her care.

10455052_266412906880478_3040171541791753115_n 2

“I’M JUST ON MY OWN – I DON’T HAVE TO BE.”

IMG_3556

DELA:

Written By Ara Reyes

Staring at her bible for a while, I wondered if she was only trying to avoid my eyes so she wouldn’t have to share her bible reading from the book of Psalm. Little did I know, it was the opposite of what I thought. In reality she was so ready and just waiting for her turn to speak about her personal devotion that day.  We made eye contact and her beautiful face was lit up in a big smile, excitedly she said, “Dito sa Awit 40 verse 17… (Here in Psalm 40 verse 17…)” then she went on..

“As for me, since I am poor and needy, let the Lord keep me in his thoughts.

You are my helper and my savior. O my God, do not delay!”

She explained, in her simple words but sincere thoughts, that she was a person who was in desperate need before she came to Safe. Poor on a lot of levels, and God did something in the midst of that. She expressed how she felt when she suddenly realized that God thought about her so much in those times – her and her baby in her womb – that It was His hands who brought her into Safe Refuge Family. Teary-eyed she said, “… and even until now God is helping and providing for me and my son here at Safe. I believe now that He will not forsake us.

Dela’s life story is a classic example of a child who went through serious trauma at a very early age but never had a chance to process it. Intense fear, emotional pain, and abuse of every kind, shaped her beliefs as she was growing up and turned her into an adult who would rather be isolated, alone, and reserved on anything that has to do with relationships or family.                   She grew up teaching herself to be tough and a fighter in life. She built walls and created a hard shell around her heart. Stubbornness became her key to survival. She would hardly listen when you give her advice or instruction and would insist on whatever it was she knew to be “true”. Even hitting rock bottom barely budged her in receptivity or understanding; it just made her more bitter since “Rock Bottom” was a place she knew all too well.

She believed there was a God. She would even pray when she thought she had to lift up something for a blessing or a need but she thought that this God is so distant and indifferent. He would punish her if she did something wrong and would reward her if she did things right. But this God doesn’t really care about her as a person, as a woman or — as a child. Why would this God help her? Especially because she has done stupid things, He’s mad. He’s not going to help her. She will be on her own. She is on her own.

Her years of living and working in a factory in slave labor were the better years of her life.

Before that, her mother and sister were brutally murdered and she lived a lifetime of extreme poverty and neglect. At least in the factory she had a place to sleep, food to eat, and a pseudo sense of security.

It was totally unfamiliar and a foreign experience for her to have someone reach out and ask her how she was feeling, or how her day was going, or did she need anything?  She saw that as “non essential” and she believed that she didn’t deserve such attention. So her initial response to such care and love was always rejection and a stubborn attitude towards anyone who would lend a hand or try to help her. Little by little she has adjusted to life within a family who look out for, and take care of, one another. She sees that she isn’t the only one who went through incredibly tough life experiences. Hearing the stories of other girls and women has helped a lot for her to see, even a little bit, that something or Someone must really be with us in our suffering and pain. That she is not on her own – she doesn’t have to be. She has a family – that is us, Safe Refuge Family and God is her big loving Father in Heaven who placed all of us together for each other.

1798758_10202884006037281_301023674_n

Ara has served on staff with Safe Refuge since 2007. As a daughter of manila, a wife, mother, and passionate lover of Jesus; she pours out her life everyday. When Ara was a young girl she dreamed of being a journalist. Today Ara uses her gifts as a communicator, to love those who have never been loved, to see the broken healed and whole, and see the enslaved set free.

 

 

 

THE STORY: SAFE REFUGE YESTERDAY AND TODAY

20140304_SafeTagaytay0283

“Courage is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.” –B. Brown

In 2003, I (Naomi) began an awesome journey. I was 21 when I committed to spend a year in the Philippines serving at a charity birth center as a new RN and a student midwife. I had dreamed of being a medical missionary since I was 7 years old and I had no doubt I was created for this adventure.  No part of me really had a clue of what life was like for the poorest of the poor, and I definitely had no idea what it really was that God was calling me to live.

There have been many twists and turns on this journey for me since 2003, and it would take a million blog articles to tell the stories! I might go back some in the process of this blog, because God’s definitely been challenging me to share my experiences despite whether or not I feel like I can write, knowing what I am doing has never been a prerequisite. Rising to the challenges of the unknowns everyday is this great adventure of life no matter where we are in this world.

SO Safe Refuge’s story actually starts in 2007. After I lived and served in Manila for 3 years.  The women, girls, and babies dying from pregnancy and birth related complications are what God used to take me to the Philippines. It was the beautiful souls I met dying inside or already dead, the faces of human trafficking, women and children, unprotected and unloved, they are what God used to birth Safe Refuge.

Our original team was Naomi, Red, Ara and Edna. The words from the Hillsong’s song “All Things Are Possible” and the foundational verses challenged us to walk out into something none of us had any experience with or any idea really what we were doing! God has faithfully guided us through so many different seasons.  Now we have the manila base as well as a base outside of the city. We have Safe Refuge residents and we have a next step program we call Grace House.

We are growing steadily in every way, the needs, the staff, the territory.. So it’s past time for a blog to keep all of Safe’s current supporters updated and to make new friends!

This story is just beginning!

Donate Now