She used to have a doll; her name was “Yellowbell.”
Growing up in an orphanage with no father, no mother, no brother, no sister. She belonged to no one and no one belonged to her, except her yellow doll.
Her doll witnessed all her tears and loneliness, loss and sorrows. Yellowbell heard of her desires to feel belonging and to be a part of a family where love and acceptance are free.
Her hopes were dashed, time and again. Once she even went home with a family but the father was brutally murdered in front of her.
Even her only companion, Yellowbell, was taken away from her.
Because of the constant abuse and deprivation this little girl suffered she wished to stop being a little girl and to become a full grown adult quickly where she could gain control and power over pain and hurt.
Some fragment of her mind decided to start thinking like an adult, to speak like an adult, to act like an adult.
She feels protected from people when she pretends.
She denies any raw feelings to cover up her vulnerability She puts on a happy face all the time but it’s not real, it keeps failing her.
She still is a little child after all.
Scared. Confused. Questioning. Little child.
Deprived but wanted to be understood.
Abandoned still she wanted to be loved.
Robbed of her childhood but wanting to be a child.
A broken little girl.
Her part of journey to healing at Safe Refuge is through play therapy.
She loves playing with her teddy bear she calls “Pinkbell”.
She protects her like a mother would, feeds her as a sister would and talks to her like a friend would. She gives her baths and puts her to sleep. She reads her stories and prays with her. She makes sure that her Pinkbell will not starve and won’t feel alone and will be safe in her care.